"Mornings" has always been my favourite time to be on the air, and I've spent most of my career in the industry doing just that. The difference this week is that it's the first time I've done mornings since having little babies in my life that I usually love to watch wake up in their cribs, and smile up at me, ready for their morning meal.
This morning, I looked in on them when I got up for work (3:30 am), and felt sad that I wouldn't be there to see the smiles on their faces, their little hands reaching up for me to pick them up out of their beds, or experience the morning snuggle that might happen at 6 am if they wake up early and start babbling, or if they're awakened by a bad dream and need consoling. That's when Janne and I'll bring them into our bed and maybe catch another hour or so of sleep with them before warming their bottles.
Just after 8 am on the show this morning, we spoke about Elvis Costello and his lovely and talented wife Diana Krall expecting a baby, as well as the rumour mill that has begun about the very-recently married Nicole Kidman possibly being pregnant, and our producer started playing baby gurgling sound effects in the background, and I had an attack of separation anxiety.
8 o'clock is just about the time that I'd probably be changing Liam's diaper, trying to keep him from arching his back and thrashing around, (which he loves to do when he's on the changing table), while waiting for his morning bottle to warm up.
I missed the closeness and the warmth of that moment that I experience every morning these days with either Liam or Morgan (but usually Liam, because he's heavier and more difficult for Janne to carry up and down our steep stairs, which is the price you pay for having vaulted ceilings on the main level…but I digress). Knowing how fast the babies are changing, I don't want to miss too many of them. I don't want to miss ANY of those moments, really.
…but I have to be flexible.
I'd much rather just do THIS all day…
I'm singing a silly song to them after coming home from work one evening last week.
I know I've said it before - but if I could win a lottery and do nothing but exactly what I wanted to do all day/every day, this is what I would do. They are beautiful, perfect, lovely human beings, and I love them completely.
(ed. There is a positive note to the shift this week. I worked hard last week to have my music for my regular station ready in advance, and I'm able to pre-record my afternoon shift - known in the radio industry as voicetracking - so I'm home earlier in the day to spend more of The Tinks' waking hours with them. I still really miss that first part of my day with them, though.)
